Thursday, September 3, 2015

The Cracked Crystal Ball

Trust me, I am more skeptical than most about psychics.  There are lots of charlatans out there that will take your hard earned cash with no conscience. These people prey on the gullible and laugh all the way to the bank.  They know how to read body language, watch for facial tension, pick up on vocal inflections and ask questions in a manner that simply garners information they can use later.  In short, if they were blindfolded and had to merely talk without asking questions, they would fail.

Then there are the real ones.  The ones that can genuinely help with big problems, assist with life decisions or give you a boost.  Many are also mediums and can provide information or messages (without asking questions) about your deceased loved ones. You should walk away from a reading feeling inspired, energetic, invigorated and healed. Not cheated or full of questions. Sometimes, knowing your grandma is still around and has made it to the other side is a very comforting thing.

This is a cautionary tale.  Rather than provide you with a list of things you should look for in a psychic, I’d much rather provide you with this story. It’s just far too good to not pass on.

I once met a nationally renowned psychic who decided she wanted to “take me under her wing.” Naturally, I was enthused when I found out and agreed to visit with her.  I found on her website, she had posted numerous videos of her television appearances. 





In one appearance, she stated, “The President will have lots of trouble with the economy”.  The interviewer was astounded as if she was receiving some sort of earth shattering news. The next sentence had my jaw on the floor.  “I am seeing that the economy will start picking up again”.  Really lady?  Could you be more vague?  What President hasn’t had lots of trouble with the economy?  And when has the economy not eventually picked up? My dog could have figured that out while licking his own ass.

Red flag.

We corresponded via email for several weeks.  She was throwing out ridiculously stupid comments about what she was seeing in my life. “I feel like you have been really stressed out”,  “It feels like perhaps you are having some financial difficulties”.  No and no.  I wasn’t stressed out and there was plenty of money in the bank.  These feeble shots in the dark went on for a week or so. 

I told her that it felt like her right foot had caused her significant problems.  I could feel she had recently had surgery on it.  I also suggested that the flowers sitting on her kitchen table were dying because she was being too negative about her foot and that’s why it wasn’t healing properly.  Bingo and a huge mistake on my part.

Suddenly, she wanted me on the radio with her.  She wanted to take me to Psychic Trade Shows, co-author a book and get me networking with the “right” people.  Oh, the money I could make!!!  One email consisted of a years worth of cyberspace why I should be charging lots of money for my “ability” and how she could be my agent.  It made me sick at my stomach.
It was far too entertaining to just let it go.  She arranged a time that we would talk on the phone and exchange readings.  Oh, hell yea.  I was in.

I was told that I had already been through 33,000 lifetimes.  I had an Angel named Bob or something that watched over me.  I was head strong and Bob said that it was time for me to start putting my own artwork on the wall (she already knew I was an artist).  My mother was supportive of my photography and artwork, she just didn’t tell me enough, but she wished she could come to visit more often.   I was going to become very, very sick, but I would survive.

All of this was said with the confidence of a serial killer.  33,000 lifetimes?  Impressive how she knew that,  Hang up my artwork?  Oh, the insight!  Yes, my mother did in fact have difficulty traveling and communicating.  She’s dead!  Yes, I was very, very sick.  The conversation was making me nauseous.

Now, it was my turn. 

I told her all I could see was a bird on her shoulder making up stories and repeating everything it heard.


She never called me back.

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