The Sound of Silence

When a death occurs, to me, there is a distinct silence that becomes detectable.  It’s similar to when you are sleeping with a fan on and someone turns it off.  The silence awakens you.  When someone leaves this world it leaves a "vibrational" deficit that is temporarily audible.  Yes, death has a distinct non- sound to it.   Each person has a different sound or vibration they contribute to this world.  Just as we have all have voices that are unique and recognizable, we have some sort of unique vibrational sound also. That's some deep stuff right there, huh?

The closest scientific explanation I have is that we know atoms vibrate.  We are made up of atoms. That’s the limit of my physics knowledge, so I will stop there.

I knew my friend Sandy's father had passed a few weeks ago.  I knew by the sound-not-sound and the rest of it, well, there is no viable explanation.  I just knew it was him.  I felt his presence and got the phone call an hour later.

Obviously, I don’t do this with every single death, or I wouldn’t be able to function. I do it with people I know or loved ones of people I know.  And when it comes to me, it feels very neutral; it just feels like information.  No, I am not calloused to it, I have just learned to accept it as part of the circle of life and I do get heartbroken when people pass, just like anyone else.

This gets even harder to explain.  As a matter of fact, I have been working on this post for several months, trying to find the right words.

How do the deceased communicate?  For me, it's through both images and knowing.  It sounds so arrogant, doesn't it?  I know. Yet, I can forget where I put my reading glasses ten times a day.

Here is the closest I can get to explaining "knowing".  First of all, knowing means it's clear with no room for doubt.  It's a conviction, just like I know the keyboard right now is at my fingertips or you know you are reading this at this very moment.

 The only way to describe it is this: It's very similar to how we dream.  We have all had dreams in which we may be unaware of our surroundings visually, yet by associating the feelings and emotions attached to a particular time frame or moment in our lives, we are fully aware the dream is taking place in, for example a house from childhood or a classroom in high school.  How many times have you shared a dream and said "I know you were there, but I couldn't see you"?  or  "I know you were there, but you looked like someone else". Often, in our dreams, we may simply sense or have an awareness that an individual is in a dream just by how we feel; yet never see their face.  We just know by our feelings or emotional reactions where the dream is taking place or who is in it.  The images I see are about the same.  Like in a dream. That about sums it up.

It's also important to differentiate  between thinking, imagination, memory, and knowing.  Thought precedes imagination; therefore it is a cognitive process.  When we imagine something, we are actively involved in following that particular train of thought.  For example, you are thinking of ways to decorate for a birthday party.  You imagine what color balloons you may need.  You then start picturing different colors and trying them out for size.  Yellow.  No.  Green. No.  Blue.  Yes! You now have a mental picture of blue balloons and begin processing any other decorations that will fit with that color scheme.

 A memory is evoked by thought, so it’s part of a cognitive process also. We could have a discussion about your grandmother and her wonderful baking.  If you go deep enough into that memory, you can hear her voice, smell the cookies in the oven or even feel what the room temperature was.  Momentarily, she becomes alive and you are there with her, experiencing the event again.  Memory occurs with retrospection.

When I get a “message”, I always play devils advocate with myself.   Is this memory or imagination? Was I thinking about that person before something came to me?  Was I reminded of some event that evoked a memory?  Had someone given me clues about this person and I am imagining what they were like?  It’s part of being a responsible, honest medium.

It’s not that difficult to differentiate between memory and imagination, once you are aware of how it works.  I know we are all smart enough to know this, but it isn’t really something we ponder on.

One thing that I have never been able to explain or understand is how a deceased loved one can still hold on to a personality.  We know personality clearly defines someone, its part of identifying someone.  “Jessica is so easy going.  She rolls with the punches” or  “Kenneth is always so passionate about injustice”.  You know how that works.  Yet, when a loved one comes through, their personality still seems intact.  Before my ex husband even spoke of his father (who was passed), I felt his presence many times.  I could undoubtedly say he was ornery, liked to play practical jokes and expressed affection through teasing.  He was uncomfortable being outright with his emotions, so playful banter was his way of saying “I care about you.”  I was right (of course, tee-hee). 

How it works is beyond me and any woo-woo explanation seems ridiculous.  I think at this point, it’s clear that I can’t stand these umbrella explanations that everyone buys into as if it’s a fact.

Here is my sort-of-theory on this.  When I am face to face with someone and detecting a passed loved one, I often wonder if I am not able to tap into the living persons memory, instead of the other way around.  Our memories have a life of their own, anyone knows how diving deeply into a memory can take us back to the moment it occurred.  Perhaps those memories are so powerful they create a specific energy that can be tapped into?  Maybe no one is really a medium; the gift may lie in literally reading someone else’s memories.  Sometimes, that makes more sense than anything.

I have no answers, but this has been my attempt at trying to explain it.