When a death
occurs, to me, there is a distinct silence that becomes detectable. It’s
similar to when you are sleeping with a fan on and someone turns it off. The silence awakens you. When someone
leaves this world it leaves a "vibrational" deficit that is
temporarily audible. Yes, death has a distinct non- sound to it. Each
person has a different sound or vibration they contribute to this world.
Just as we have all have voices that are unique and recognizable, we have
some sort of unique vibrational sound also. That's some deep stuff right there,
huh?
The closest
scientific explanation I have is that we know atoms vibrate. We are made up of atoms. That’s the limit of
my physics knowledge, so I will stop there.
I knew my friend Sandy's
father had passed a few weeks ago. I knew by the sound-not-sound and the rest of it,
well, there is no viable explanation. I just knew it was him. I felt his presence and got the phone call
an hour later.
Obviously, I
don’t do this with every single death, or I wouldn’t be able to function. I do
it with people I know or loved ones of people I know. And when it comes to me, it feels very
neutral; it just feels like information.
No, I am not calloused to it, I have just learned to accept it as part
of the circle of life and I do get
heartbroken when people pass, just like anyone else.
This gets even
harder to explain. As a matter of fact, I have been working on this post
for several months, trying to find the right words.
How do the
deceased communicate? For me, it's through both images and knowing.
It sounds so arrogant, doesn't it? I know. Yet, I can forget
where I put my reading glasses ten times a day.
Here is the
closest I can get to explaining "knowing". First of all,
knowing means it's clear with no room for doubt. It's a conviction, just
like I know the keyboard right now is at my fingertips or you know you are
reading this at this very moment.
The only
way to describe it is this: It's very similar to how we dream. We
have all had dreams in which we may be unaware of our surroundings visually,
yet by associating the feelings and emotions attached to a particular time
frame or moment in our lives, we are fully aware the dream is taking place in,
for example a house from childhood or a classroom in high school. How many
times have you shared a dream and said "I know you were there, but I
couldn't see you"? or "I know you were there, but you
looked like someone else". Often, in our dreams, we may simply sense or
have an awareness that an individual is in a dream just by how we feel; yet
never see their face. We just know by our feelings or emotional
reactions where the dream is taking place or who is in it. The images I
see are about the same. Like in a dream.
That about sums it up.
It's also important to differentiate between thinking, imagination, memory, and knowing.
Thought precedes imagination; therefore it is a cognitive process.
When we imagine something, we are actively involved in following that
particular train of thought. For example, you are thinking of ways to
decorate for a birthday party. You imagine what color balloons you
may need. You then start picturing different colors and trying them
out for size. Yellow. No. Green. No. Blue. Yes!
You now have a mental picture of blue balloons and begin processing any
other decorations that will fit with that color scheme.
A memory is
evoked by thought, so it’s part of a cognitive process also. We could have a
discussion about your grandmother and her wonderful baking. If you go deep enough into that memory, you
can hear her voice, smell the cookies in the oven or even feel what the room
temperature was. Momentarily, she
becomes alive and you are there with her, experiencing the event again. Memory occurs with retrospection.
When I get a
“message”, I always play devils advocate with myself. Is this memory or imagination? Was I thinking
about that person before something came to me?
Was I reminded of some event that evoked a memory? Had someone given me clues about this person
and I am imagining what they were like?
It’s part of being a responsible, honest medium.
It’s not that
difficult to differentiate between memory and imagination, once you are aware
of how it works. I know we are all smart
enough to know this, but it isn’t really something we ponder on.
One thing that I
have never been able to explain or understand is how a deceased loved one can
still hold on to a personality. We know personality clearly defines
someone, its part of identifying someone.
“Jessica is so easy going. She rolls
with the punches” or “Kenneth is always
so passionate about injustice”. You know
how that works. Yet, when a loved one
comes through, their personality still seems intact. Before my ex husband even spoke of his father
(who was passed), I felt his presence many times. I could undoubtedly say he was ornery, liked
to play practical jokes and expressed affection through teasing. He was uncomfortable being outright with his
emotions, so playful banter was his way of saying “I care about you.” I was right (of course, tee-hee).
How it works is
beyond me and any woo-woo explanation seems ridiculous. I think at this point, it’s clear that I
can’t stand these umbrella explanations that everyone buys into as if it’s a
fact.
Here is my
sort-of-theory on this. When I am face
to face with someone and detecting a passed loved one, I often wonder if I am
not able to tap into the living persons memory, instead of the other way
around. Our memories have a life of
their own, anyone knows how diving deeply into a memory can take us back to the
moment it occurred. Perhaps those
memories are so powerful they create a specific energy that can be tapped
into? Maybe no one is really a medium; the gift may lie in
literally reading someone else’s memories. Sometimes, that makes more sense than anything.
I have no answers,
but this has been my attempt at trying to explain it.
